Category: Life

Categories
Family Life

Snapshots

Snapshots from a life together:

I’m walking down the aisle, nervously holding my father’s arm. The music surrounds me, like waves in water. I’m aware of people as I pass them, but their faces are blurry, the individual details lost. My focus shifts, and I see you, standing there, waiting. My heart leaps, my steps quicken. I smile. Yes. I do, I will, always.

Our firstborn is crying. It’s hard, being new to the world, adjusting to the lights and sounds, the temperatures and textures. I can’t calm him. You take him into your arms and quietly dance with him, gently back and forth, swaying to a silent beat that only the two of you can hear. He sleeps contentedly, safely within your love.

We are living outside of the city, in our house hidden within the trees, far back from the road, far into the peaceful quiet. I watch as you head toward the creek, our dog at your heels, our sons at your side. You will be gone a while, I know, and when you return you will tell me of your adventures. This land is ours; this land speaks to us, carries our dreams, shelters our souls.

We are traveling with our sons, driving in a rented car through unfamiliar territory. They are happy boys, they are good boys, but they are also young boys, and they do not appreciate the adventure in the same way that we do. For them, the experience is tiring, the road never-ending, the destination light years away. We entertain them with an episode of one of their favorite shows, but the player won’t advance to the next episode. It is stuck; it can’t be fixed. And so, they watch the same episode again. And again. And again and again. They are delighted. The voices, the music, the action and sound from the show echo within the car, bounce across the seats and off the windows, filling the space over and over. Despite our weariness from the repetition, despite our unwelcome, newfound ability to recite the episode verbatim, we are grateful for their happiness. Their laughter is musical. We revel in it. We soak it in. We hold it in our hearts.

Another trip, years later. We take our sons back to the mountains. We hike together, as a family, on paths, across fields, into the forest. Sometimes, we walk as a group, sharing jokes, telling stories. Sometimes, we separate, walking at our own pace, thinking our thoughts, enjoying the whisper of the wind in the branches, the sound of our shoes on the gravel and the grass. Our connection is built from love and trust, an invisible bond that holds us together as we walk. We have a destination and will get there eventually, but the journey is where the memories live.


Happy anniversary to my beloved husband. Let’s keep going.

Categories
Life

Days

There are days when things are difficult. We all have them, every once in a while, at least sometimes, on occasion.

Days when emotions are front and center and the air feels heavy, the words seem muffled, get caught in the brain or strangled in the throat.

Plodding days, going nowhere yet moving too quickly, scratching their way across the hours, giggling maniacally through dull anxiety.

Lonely days. Surrounded by people yet distant and isolated. Silent conversations, missed connections, unfamiliar circumstances.

If we’re lucky, these difficult days are few. If we’re really lucky, we have a furry friend to share them with, to cuddle and snuggle with, run with, play and shout and rest with, unconditionally, sweetly, forgivingly, lovingly.

They believe in the best in us. They trust that we’re doing all we can, trying our hardest, making it happen. And because of that, we know that we are, we know that we can.

Here’s to the good days. May they far outweigh the difficult ones.

And here’s to the dogs (and cats) that are there for us no matter what kind of day we’re having.


Categories
Life Nature

Cheers

The grapes from our backyard grapevine are finally ripe.

I did nothing more than cheer them on. They blossomed and grew and ripened all on their own.

It is possible, however, that the smiles and encouragement they received throughout their journey tipped the scales toward success. Perhaps they grew a bit faster, stayed strong through the rain and sun and heat and chill, because of those little cheers, because of the excited energy, the trust in positive outcomes, the messages of appreciation.

Don’t we all?

Categories
Life People

Last

It’s the last day of the month. It’s a day for meeting deadlines and finalizing plans. Completion, then starting anew. A bit like punctuation at the end of a sentence, in preparation for the next one.

The last day of the month, today, right now, can also mean the end of other things, such as events or relationships or opportunities. Of predictability. Of safety. A shift from known to unknown, from expected to I have no idea.

For some, last is good. For others – many others, probably more than usual right now – it is not.

Thinking about the differences this morning, about the emotions and implications, how each of us is affected by last, the same and yet not the same.

It’s simply a calendar page to some. For many others, the ones who occupy most of my heart and my thoughts today, last carries meaning far beyond an x on a page.

Categories
Family Life

100

When my sons were in elementary school, their teachers would typically mark the 100th day of class by gathering 100 items together in a collection.

Sometimes, the students brought the items; sometimes, I’d know nothing about it until I asked my sons about their day at school. The school-supplied items were typically pencils or raisins or M&Ms. On the occasions when we were asked to supply 100 somethings, we chose pennies or LEGO.

I was always a little surprised at the weight of 100 pennies, holding up the plastic bag as we counted them out several times (just to be sure we really, truly had 100, not 98 or 99 but 100). With the LEGO, the weight wasn’t significant, but the sizes and shapes created a sort of plastic salad, clicking and clacking together in a colorful pile.

My boys and I would marvel at how many is 100, and I’d be reminded that it’s a lot but not actually that many, not in the big picture. An age that most of us won’t reach but a little less than one-third of one year. A lot of pennies but not a lot of money. Enough LEGO to make a collection but not enough to build a castle.

I woke up this morning thinking about 100, the tactile memories and numerical implications. It’s something interesting to contemplate, while I sit and sip in the early hours of this day.

Categories
Life

Bittersweet

I will always associate the word “bittersweet” with the year 2020.

Let’s start with bitter. So much bitter, everywhere. Illness and death. Anger and frustration. Sadness and tears. Lost jobs, lost opportunities, shattered hopes and dreams. Fear, permeating our lives and decisions, affecting our plans, stealing our confidence, influencing whether we trust and believe.

And now, the sweet. It, too, is everywhere. It’s in the big and the little moments. Families reconnecting. People learning, gaining new appreciation for ideas and information, having new experiences. Lifetime milestones celebrated differently but celebrated nonetheless; birthdays, graduations, marriages. Interactions between friends and neighbors and coworkers, some quiet, some loud; gestures of kindness, of solidarity, of the fierce knowledge that together isn’t everything but it is way more than nothing.

Bittersweet. To use the word, we must acknowledge the separate elements woven together, sometimes first one, then the other; sometimes simultaneous and overlapping.

It is just as the year has been and will likely continue to be – shifts and turns, laughter and tears, heartbreak and glory. All part of this journey through time, the moments destined to be our memories and to shape our perspective on some future day, in a future world.

All part of this tale of 2020.


Categories
Life People

Counting

I recently read an article about how some children are being discouraged from using their fingers to count when doing math problems.

And I thought, why? What difference does it make if kids count on their fingers, as long as they are learning the essential concepts? It seems a little arbitrary to me.

As a child, I was a finger-counter. It helped me to visualize the process, the action and outcomes. Even today, as a grownup, I occasionally slip back into a finger-counting mode, not because I can’t do simple math but because that’s how my brain works. I see processes and visualize steps in my head. Using my fingers as a means of acting out what my brain is doing is helpful.

And that’s true for many others. In fact, researchers have learned that associating an action (using fingers) with a concept (adding or subtracting) influences parts of our brains that retain and process information.

Simple science.

With all that’s happening these days, finger-counting seems among the least worrisome things to get worked up about. I say, let the children count on their fingers. That goes for grownups, too.

And on really tough days, on days when nothing is going right, when stuff seems to be falling apart or going askew or just not making sense, on days when math seems harder than usual…well, then it should also be okay to use cookies in place of your fingers.

Categories
Life People

Respect

”Freedom is not a state; it is an act. It is not some enchanted garden perched high on a distant plateau where we can finally sit down and rest. Freedom is the continuous action we all must take, and each generation must do its part to create an even more fair, more just society.” – Representative John Lewis

Categories
Adventures Life

Travel

I’m cheating a bit with today’s cuppa picture.

This cuppa photo is from five years ago. It was taken on a family vacation. When I saw it this morning, I started thinking about the trips I’ve taken over the years.

Traveling is one of my favorite things. Going to new places, experiencing new things – I love everything about it, even the stress of planning and the anxiety that sometimes comes with the execution.

That’s not to say that I’m always a happy camper, that I don’t freak out if the luggage gets lost or we can’t find the hotel. Oh yes, I’ve had my Travel Panic Moments, moments that I regret and wish I could do over. But mostly, my travel memories are good. Mostly, they make me smile.

The current circumstances don’t make it advisable or even possible to travel. I support the fact that adventures away from home must wait. Safety is the priority; wisdom must prevail. But one day – I hope, I believe – the door will open again.

Until then, I’ll enjoy my memories. I’ll reflect upon and be grateful for all the things I’ve seen and heard and experienced, the cities and neighborhoods, the mountains and beaches and forests, the people and food, songs and stories. I’ll consider where I might want to go in the future, search for new destinations, evaluate the logistics and the practical realities.

And as I remember and dream and imagine, I’m sure I’ll be smiling.

“Not all those who wander are lost.” — J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring




Categories
Life

Hair

Just like many other people, it’s been a while since I had a haircut. My hair has gotten quite long, and my bangs have grown out.

I have mixed feelings about it – not because I haven’t gotten a haircut, but because long hair is a bit of a conundrum for me.

I like the idea of having long hair. I like the potential of updos and curls and flirty, feathery tresses. I also know that I look better with long hair than I do with short hair. I was a firsthand participant in the Dorothy Hamill Haircut Craze and have the mortifying pictures hidden away in family photo albums to prove it.

But, the reality of long hair is not the same as the idea. Glorious, Julia Roberts-type hair typically requires effort beyond my commitment level. I’ve also noticed that accumulated birthdays bring a bit of thinning hair, along with the greys – the greys (grrrr, let’s not talk about that).

No natural bounce exists for me; if I’m going to attempt luxurious curls, enjoy flowing waves and cascading glory, I’ve got to put in a lot of work, use lots of styling aids, and accept that the best I’ll get is a moderate amount of outcome. That’s not something I’m eager to do.

So, what’s happening currently is a hybrid of straight and long on some days, clipped up in a messy flip on other days. Sometimes, I attempt to blow-dry a style; with increasing frequency, the hair dryer stays in the cabinet, and it’s an air-dry day (assuming I chose to wash my hair that morning). If I know that I won’t be venturing out of the house, I might not even (shhhhhhh)…brush it at all.

I realize that, in the big picture, my hair woes are frivolous and self-centered. I have much to be grateful for; dealing with my hair is truly not that big of a deal.

I also know that the hair grass is typically greener on the other side. Friends with naturally curly hair have told me how much they’d like to have stick-straight locks; friends with fine, thin hair have told me that they wouldn’t mind dealing with the challenges of thick, heavy hair instead.

These are the things I remind myself each time I get frustrated by what I see in the mirror.


But I still get frustrated. I’m human, and it’s hot outside. Blow dryers, brushes, combs, and hair clips annoy me right now. My hair-styling patience is stretched like a rubber band, the kind that gets tangled and pulls the roots from your scalp.

However, I still believe in my hair’s potential. I’m still convinced that, for me, long is better than short. All it will take is the perfect combination of clips and potions, styling and brushing, to achieve Hair Nirvana.

So, if you happen to see me in person, and you think to yourself, oh honey, it’s a Bad Hair Day, just know that it’s ok to say it out loud, to my face. And then, perhaps, we can laugh at the ridiculousness together.