Categories
Life

Normal

I woke up thinking about the words “new normal.”

I’ve been using those words a lot lately, when I describe…well, almost everything.

Like many other people these days, I find myself looking back over time and then comparing that time to now. As I’m remembering, I might shake my head, or laugh, or cry. I sometimes say things like wow and ugggghhh and never saw that coming. I also say things like yay and how amazing, because goodness always exists amidst the challenges.

And then, after I’ve thought about the past Things or Events or Outcomes or Changes (all capitalized, because that is just something that my brain does, how it classifies these moments), I shift back into the Now. Today.

And I ask myself, how do I define normal? I ask myself, why is this Thing normal but this other Thing not? I ask myself, what makes this new normal?

In simple terms, today is the same as yesterday, as the day prior, as so many days that came before. I wake up, I do the Things, the Things happen, and then the day is done.

It is in that space of doing the Things and that space of the Things happen that new appears. Normal, it seems, is always there.

Perhaps, then, the words “new normal,” are a distraction. It’s possible that the effort I put into wrapping my head around the implications of these words, trying to lasso the meaning, understand it, anticipate and predict, isn’t as necessary or even as complicated as it appears to be.

Perhaps “new normal” is just another way to describe the experience of living. Of being alive, having a life.

Perhaps it’s really that simple.


Categories
Family Life

Snapshots

Snapshots from a life together:

I’m walking down the aisle, nervously holding my father’s arm. The music surrounds me, like waves in water. I’m aware of people as I pass them, but their faces are blurry, the individual details lost. My focus shifts, and I see you, standing there, waiting. My heart leaps, my steps quicken. I smile. Yes. I do, I will, always.

Our firstborn is crying. It’s hard, being new to the world, adjusting to the lights and sounds, the temperatures and textures. I can’t calm him. You take him into your arms and quietly dance with him, gently back and forth, swaying to a silent beat that only the two of you can hear. He sleeps contentedly, safely within your love.

We are living outside of the city, in our house hidden within the trees, far back from the road, far into the peaceful quiet. I watch as you head toward the creek, our dog at your heels, our sons at your side. You will be gone a while, I know, and when you return you will tell me of your adventures. This land is ours; this land speaks to us, carries our dreams, shelters our souls.

We are traveling with our sons, driving in a rented car through unfamiliar territory. They are happy boys, they are good boys, but they are also young boys, and they do not appreciate the adventure in the same way that we do. For them, the experience is tiring, the road never-ending, the destination light years away. We entertain them with an episode of one of their favorite shows, but the player won’t advance to the next episode. It is stuck; it can’t be fixed. And so, they watch the same episode again. And again. And again and again. They are delighted. The voices, the music, the action and sound from the show echo within the car, bounce across the seats and off the windows, filling the space over and over. Despite our weariness from the repetition, despite our unwelcome, newfound ability to recite the episode verbatim, we are grateful for their happiness. Their laughter is musical. We revel in it. We soak it in. We hold it in our hearts.

Another trip, years later. We take our sons back to the mountains. We hike together, as a family, on paths, across fields, into the forest. Sometimes, we walk as a group, sharing jokes, telling stories. Sometimes, we separate, walking at our own pace, thinking our thoughts, enjoying the whisper of the wind in the branches, the sound of our shoes on the gravel and the grass. Our connection is built from love and trust, an invisible bond that holds us together as we walk. We have a destination and will get there eventually, but the journey is where the memories live.


Happy anniversary to my beloved husband. Let’s keep going.

Categories
Life

Days

There are days when things are difficult. We all have them, every once in a while, at least sometimes, on occasion.

Days when emotions are front and center and the air feels heavy, the words seem muffled, get caught in the brain or strangled in the throat.

Plodding days, going nowhere yet moving too quickly, scratching their way across the hours, giggling maniacally through dull anxiety.

Lonely days. Surrounded by people yet distant and isolated. Silent conversations, missed connections, unfamiliar circumstances.

If we’re lucky, these difficult days are few. If we’re really lucky, we have a furry friend to share them with, to cuddle and snuggle with, run with, play and shout and rest with, unconditionally, sweetly, forgivingly, lovingly.

They believe in the best in us. They trust that we’re doing all we can, trying our hardest, making it happen. And because of that, we know that we are, we know that we can.

Here’s to the good days. May they far outweigh the difficult ones.

And here’s to the dogs (and cats) that are there for us no matter what kind of day we’re having.


Categories
Family

Sister

I’m cheating a bit today, repurposing something I wrote a while back in honor of National Sibling’s Day. It’s National Sisters Day, and the message, with a few updates, still fits.

So much of my strength and most definitely much of my courage is influenced by my sister.

She is brilliant is so many ways, perceptive, honest, pragmatic, and brave. She’s taught me more than she may ever realize by the way she approaches the world and everything in it.

She has a caring spirit that bubbles up at just the right moments. Some of my most loved possessions are gifts she’s given me, trinkets and treasures that perfectly capture a moment or an emotion.

She is also hands-down one of the funniest people I’ve ever known. Some of my best memories in life are of the two of us laughing hysterically together.

During the past year, we’ve weathered many challenges together. Any one of them could have driven us apart, could have broken the multi-layered trust and care built over a lifetime together, the friendship that rests on top of our biological connection. It’s not unusual, when illness, death, or other circumstances occur, for families to splinter.

We chose, however, to stay united. We chose to remain sisters, allies from birth to death. We are each individuals with differences in likes and dislikes, opinions, perspectives, hopes and dreams. Yet, we are each one half of the other.

So, Happy Sisters Day to my sister. I’ve never quite gotten over the fact that our mother occasionally made us go to school in matching outfits, and I know the same is true for you. Thank goodness we are able to laugh about it together.

“i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)” – e.e. cummings

Categories
Life Nature

Cheers

The grapes from our backyard grapevine are finally ripe.

I did nothing more than cheer them on. They blossomed and grew and ripened all on their own.

It is possible, however, that the smiles and encouragement they received throughout their journey tipped the scales toward success. Perhaps they grew a bit faster, stayed strong through the rain and sun and heat and chill, because of those little cheers, because of the excited energy, the trust in positive outcomes, the messages of appreciation.

Don’t we all?

Categories
Life People

Last

It’s the last day of the month. It’s a day for meeting deadlines and finalizing plans. Completion, then starting anew. A bit like punctuation at the end of a sentence, in preparation for the next one.

The last day of the month, today, right now, can also mean the end of other things, such as events or relationships or opportunities. Of predictability. Of safety. A shift from known to unknown, from expected to I have no idea.

For some, last is good. For others – many others, probably more than usual right now – it is not.

Thinking about the differences this morning, about the emotions and implications, how each of us is affected by last, the same and yet not the same.

It’s simply a calendar page to some. For many others, the ones who occupy most of my heart and my thoughts today, last carries meaning far beyond an x on a page.

Categories
Adventures People

Stonehenge

Researchers recently discovered the source of the largest stones (called sarsens) that make up Stonehenge.

The sarsens originated approximately 15 miles away, from a place called West Woods. The discovery came after an analysis of stone from the inside core of one of the sarsens and a comparison to stone in the surrounding area.

The source of the sarsens has long been a mystery. The origin of the smaller stones was solved a while back, but until now, the origin of the largest stones was unknown.

I visited Stonehenge not too long ago. It’s out in a large empty field, and there’s a bit of a walk to get to it. There are cows in the area, and small rolling hills. Off in the distance, trees. And then, there it is, just sitting there, patiently waiting, as it has for centuries. Waiting for…people? Time? Sunrises and sunsets, clouds and rain and wind? Yes, perhaps all of those things.

Having seen pictures of it, I wasn’t completely unprepared for what to expect. What did surprise me was the size and scale. It’s difficult to get a sense of it from photographs. Standing next to it, you realize what a true effort it had to have been to build it, especially in a time when there were no machines to assist.

I was also struck by the sound. Many people were visiting on the day I was there, there was picture-taking and pointing and amazement, but everyone seemed to speak in hushed tones. There was a lot of silence. There were occasional small gusts of wind, and they sounded whispery and hushed, as well. It was as though we were in a museum, a solemn place, a place of memories.

I’ll be thinking about that visit today. Like many others, I marvel at the fact that people long ago designed and built Stonehenge with little more than their imaginations, their commitment, and their strength.

We human beings can do sometimes do wondrous things. I’m grateful to have experienced one of the most wondrous.

Categories
Good People

Nice

There’s a little girl named Ruby Kate Chitsey who, at the age of 11, started a non-profit organization called Three Wishes for Ruby’s Residents. She had the idea after noticing that many of the senior citizens at a local nursing home were unable to afford simple treats such as candy or even basic items such as a pair of pants.

Ruby Kate asked each of the people at the nursing home to make a list of three things they wanted most of all. She then set about raising money and filling the requests.

This simple act grew into a bigger movement, expanding to additional nursing homes, pulling in more people to gather and deliver. So far, the fulfilled wishes have included everything from a can of Vienna sausages to pillows and blankets, and the lists and gifting are ongoing.

Many of the people Ruby Kate assists have little to no family members who can supplement the nursing home care, and receiving a treat is a rare occasion. These kind gestures may not seem like much, but for somebody who has less than $50 per month to spend on anything outside of room, board, and medical care, it can mean a lot.

If you want to learn more about Ruby Kate’s work and how you can help, the link to the website is below:

https://3wishes.global

Right now, many residents of nursing homes are feeling even more isolated and distant than ever. The safety precautions so necessary to keep them healthy during the pandemic also prevent visits with family and friends as well as activities that might normally be part of their days. Loneliness is prevalent; depression, anxiety, and confusion often follow.

So, here’s to Ruby Kate, who began helping people long before COVID-19 and whose help is even more meaningful now. And here’s to all the other nice humans who help to make this world a better place.

Categories
Family Life

100

When my sons were in elementary school, their teachers would typically mark the 100th day of class by gathering 100 items together in a collection.

Sometimes, the students brought the items; sometimes, I’d know nothing about it until I asked my sons about their day at school. The school-supplied items were typically pencils or raisins or M&Ms. On the occasions when we were asked to supply 100 somethings, we chose pennies or LEGO.

I was always a little surprised at the weight of 100 pennies, holding up the plastic bag as we counted them out several times (just to be sure we really, truly had 100, not 98 or 99 but 100). With the LEGO, the weight wasn’t significant, but the sizes and shapes created a sort of plastic salad, clicking and clacking together in a colorful pile.

My boys and I would marvel at how many is 100, and I’d be reminded that it’s a lot but not actually that many, not in the big picture. An age that most of us won’t reach but a little less than one-third of one year. A lot of pennies but not a lot of money. Enough LEGO to make a collection but not enough to build a castle.

I woke up this morning thinking about 100, the tactile memories and numerical implications. It’s something interesting to contemplate, while I sit and sip in the early hours of this day.

Categories
Life

Bittersweet

I will always associate the word “bittersweet” with the year 2020.

Let’s start with bitter. So much bitter, everywhere. Illness and death. Anger and frustration. Sadness and tears. Lost jobs, lost opportunities, shattered hopes and dreams. Fear, permeating our lives and decisions, affecting our plans, stealing our confidence, influencing whether we trust and believe.

And now, the sweet. It, too, is everywhere. It’s in the big and the little moments. Families reconnecting. People learning, gaining new appreciation for ideas and information, having new experiences. Lifetime milestones celebrated differently but celebrated nonetheless; birthdays, graduations, marriages. Interactions between friends and neighbors and coworkers, some quiet, some loud; gestures of kindness, of solidarity, of the fierce knowledge that together isn’t everything but it is way more than nothing.

Bittersweet. To use the word, we must acknowledge the separate elements woven together, sometimes first one, then the other; sometimes simultaneous and overlapping.

It is just as the year has been and will likely continue to be – shifts and turns, laughter and tears, heartbreak and glory. All part of this journey through time, the moments destined to be our memories and to shape our perspective on some future day, in a future world.

All part of this tale of 2020.